What not to say...you cannot un-ring a bell

It's been a while friends since I have updated my Blog. I can't promise I'll be writing as much - things are really busy in my and my families lives right now. I had a few minutes tonight, so here goes.....About seven weeks ago, I had very unfortunate experience....this is what I had started to write, then I stopped...

"You see, my wife and I are expecting again and it is suppose to be a happy time. Funny how one persons happiness, is used by others to rip and tear you down. Some people just don't think...Or maybe they do think, but have no filter between the brain and the mouth? Here are some words NOT to say when someone tells you they are expecting: These are things that I heard in the last couple of days. I am not saying by who or whom, but I heard it more than once.

"I guess you weren't using birth control"

"Really, another one?"

"Oh No...you already have your hands full"

"I guess I should congratulate you?" "

So that was 7 weeks ago. Last week, I sat beside my wife in the hospital, holding her hand, crying with her as she miscarried. I now reflect on those words that were said a few weeks earlier... I am trying not to get bitter. I am trying not to be angry. But it reminds me of how hurtful and damaging words can be. So instead I reflect on how fabulous the nurses were. They treated my wife with compassion and professionalism. One of them cried with her, and they all showed amazing compassion. The doctor was caring. He was very helpful and forthcoming. 

Now here is part 2 of things not to say....this is what was said to me the day after the miscarriage to my wife. "You know, there is a new study out that siblings are 20% more likely to have autism if one sibling has already been diagnosed. So maybe this was a blessing?"

My wife responded - "Well you know that nothing surprises the Lord, so why would this child have to worry"

the response...."Well the Lord took the child...didn't He."

I was amazed....totally speechless.

I actually had to preach the next day. Emotions were flowing. Pain was in my heart. While I sat beside my wife, Jeremiah 29:11-13 came to mind.  

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart...so that is what I spoke on. A few verses on hope. A few verses of encouragement :)

I had studied and planned on speaking on Psalm 51. While studying, I read about King David losing his son with Bathsheba. When he lost his son, he said - "my son cannot come back to me, but I can go to him." That was on the Monday of the ultrasound....the morning we found out that the baby did not make it. 

I really believe that the Lord was preparing my heart for what was to take place over the next several days.

So in summary we will carry on -  trying to make light of what was said - looking for the best in everything. When all is said and done, it boils down to how you view a child. You see, I believe that children are a gift from God. They are to be loved, cherished, supported and cared for. They are not a "mistake."  You can agree with me, you can disagree with me...but you know what - I'm tired and not in the mood for a fight. Blessings to everyone of you that are reading this :)

Don't despise your small beginnings !

The first month of 2011 is almost over How has it been for you? Some of us have gone through extreme trials, others have gone through extreme joy...2011 is just beginning :) Can I give you a little encouragement tonight? In my reading, I came upon the biography of a fairly famous man....Here is his story.

1816 - His family was forced out of their home. He had to work to support them.
1818 - His mother died.
1831 - Failed in business.
1832 - Ran for state legislature - lost.
1832 - Also lost his job - wanted to go to law school but couldn't get in.
1833 - Borrowed some money from a friend to begin a business and by the end of the year he was bankrupt. He spent the next 17 years of his life paying off this debt.
1834 - Ran for state legislature again - won.
1835 - Was engaged to be married, sweetheart died and his heart was broken.
1836 - Had a total nervous breakdown and was in bed for six months.
1838 - Sought to become speaker of the state legislature - defeated.
1840 - Sought to become elector - defeated.
1843 - Ran for Congress - lost.
1846 - Ran for Congress again - this time he won - went to Washington and did a good job.
1848 - Ran for re-election to Congress - lost.
1849 - Sought the job of land officer in his home state - rejected.
1854 - Ran for Senate of the United States - lost.
1856 - Sought the Vice-Presidential nomination at his party's national convention – to get less than 100 votes.
1858 - Ran for U.S. Senate again - again he lost.
1860 - Elected president of the United States.

Did you guess who this was....Abraham Lincoln. Here is somebody who didn't know the meaning of quit. He was born into poverty, and faced defeat throughout his life. He lost eight elections, twice failed in business and suffered a nervous breakdown. He could have quit many times - but he didn't and because he didn't quit, he became one of the greatest presidents in the history of the United States of America..

Now let me ask you...what are you facing today? Are the odds against you? Do you feel like dropping out of the race? Don't. Hang in there. Push through it. Lift your head high, put your shoulders back and hang on. Do not despise the days of small beginnings! Keep focused on where your help truly comes from – The Lord !

Have a great evening friends !

Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin – Zechariah 4:10a