Winter humour - Part 2 of 2 Enjoy Friends :)

Well yesterday's Blog was a success, so I will spend one more day lightening things up a bit:

• Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference. 
  
  
• When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half. 
  
  
• Some people are like Slinky’s. Pretty much useless but make you smile when you see them tumble down the stairs 
  
  
• Never argue with an idiot they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you through experience
  
  
• In Canada there is another name for sushi.....BAIT !!!
  
  
• When everything is coming your way...you are in the wrong lane. 
   
• Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. 
   
• Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river. 
   
• When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him 
   
• You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because I just farted

• Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the driveway before it stops snowing. 
  
  
• It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it

• And last but not least ...."A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed."

A little humour for a cold winters day !!!

I thought that with the winter season deepening, SAD may be setting in for some of us, so I hope these will lighten your day just a little bit:

• The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

• The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
  
  
• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. 
  
  
• If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you. 
  
  
• In life a man only needs two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape. 
  
  
• If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? 
  
  
• Does a clean house indicate a broken computer?
  
  
• Have you ever noticed that when a string is on the carpet a person will go over it a dozen times with the vacuum...reach down, pick it up, look at it, then put it back down and give the vacuum one more chance.
  
  
• If at first you don't succeed...do it like your wife said to in the first place.
  
  
• A dropped tool will always end up ½ inch beyond your reach.
  
  
• A person who smiles in the face of adversity.....probably has a scapegoat.
  
  
• When the chips are down, the cow is empty.

And last but not least .....It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger !